Happy Birthday, Levi

I cannot believe Levi is a one year old. I feel like in many ways, this year has been a blur. I hate that the first few months of his life were so hard for me in so many ways I wasn't expecting...I don't think I 'wished time away' or anything...but I certainly didn't enjoy every moment, either...those sleepless nights and hormones and hemmorhoids and leaky sore boobs, and emotions out of whack and adjusting to having another person to look after, and missing time with 'just Jonah', and the winter blues all at once...just a little too much to handle those first 6 weeks or so...I wondered if I would really, truly actually 'like' him as much as I liked Jonah - if I would ever bond with him or feel as close to him as I did with Jonah...I felt things and had concerns and worries and disconnectedness I hadn't expected, and hadn't heard other people talk about...and I never felt alot of those things with Jonah, it was new and made me feel awful...

But around the 6-week mark with Levi...my heart was completely filled up with love for this baby boy, and it is growing every day. I'm not even kidding...I cannot hardly even express how much I adore this little baby boy...he is just the sweetest thing. He's a ball of energy, that's for sure! The kid does not. stop. moving. Except to get some snuggles or to drink his sippy cup of milk...He ADORES Jonah -- no-one can make him laugh like Jonah...though he does find me quite hilarious, as well, if you wanna know the truth! He's such a good sleeper -- he actually had a 4 hour nap this afternoon -- pretty much missing half of his birthday and Christmas to sleep. He loves his sleep. (maybe THIS kid will be more like his Daddy!!) :) He's determined. Jonah was always so easy to distract - Levi is persistent - you cannot really convince him of something he's not interested in...or 'hide' something he wants...He doesn't give up easily. Already I see that...He's very expressive - his brown puppy-dog eyes can pretty well melt your heart...Yesterday I barely tapped his hand after he had thrown his sippy cup onto the floor again...well - the heart-wrenching pouty lip and wailing cry that let me know I  had just broken his dear little heart...broke MY heart. And Jonah's!! The three of us were a mess of tears...Jonah couldn't finish eating his breakfast 'cause he was so sad about Levi being sad -- Levi just needed cuddles - HE couldn't finish his breakfast...what a mess! oh dear. Lastnight he threw his sippy cup on the floor - and Jonah got a realy worried look and said "please, Mama...don't....please don't spank him. I will be mad if you do."

Levi is a happy little baby...very happy to entertain himself - very 'obliging' to Jonah's constant wrestling, taking toys, pushing, rough-play, tickling, kisses, constant ATTENTION...he's a good little brother!! I am so interested to see what he will be like as he's changing and growing and developing his little personality more...He is just a joy - so cute and tiny and baby-ish....he is a good eater - and a very good milk drinker...great to take out - seems more and more interested in people and the busy-ness around him when we're out and about...he does seem to love to be home, though...he's starting to really recognize and like certain people -- he's been quite smitten with Erin lately! He's standing - not super interested in walking yet though. Which is fine with me! He loves to be outside...seems to be fine to be in his carseat and driving around...he HATES hats. He cries and yanks and yanks 'til he (or Jonah!) gets it off! He loves his blue blankie - it soothes him sometimes, just to touch it. He sucks his thumb - but only usually when he's tired -- and always when we walk into his room, he immediately puts his head down on my arm and shoves his little thumb into his mouth. he only really says 'mama, da-da, and ba-ba' (which we tell Jonah means 'brother' but who knows??)...

I am so incredibly incredibly grateful to have this sweet little baby in our lives. We prayed for him for such a long time -- he is such a blessing in our lives...

Happy Birthday, Levi-man...you are so deeply and truly loved, baby.