Happy Birthday, Levi

I cannot believe Levi is a one year old. I feel like in many ways, this year has been a blur. I hate that the first few months of his life were so hard for me in so many ways I wasn't expecting...I don't think I 'wished time away' or anything...but I certainly didn't enjoy every moment, either...those sleepless nights and hormones and hemmorhoids and leaky sore boobs, and emotions out of whack and adjusting to having another person to look after, and missing time with 'just Jonah', and the winter blues all at once...just a little too much to handle those first 6 weeks or so...I wondered if I would really, truly actually 'like' him as much as I liked Jonah - if I would ever bond with him or feel as close to him as I did with Jonah...I felt things and had concerns and worries and disconnectedness I hadn't expected, and hadn't heard other people talk about...and I never felt alot of those things with Jonah, it was new and made me feel awful...

But around the 6-week mark with Levi...my heart was completely filled up with love for this baby boy, and it is growing every day. I'm not even kidding...I cannot hardly even express how much I adore this little baby boy...he is just the sweetest thing. He's a ball of energy, that's for sure! The kid does not. stop. moving. Except to get some snuggles or to drink his sippy cup of milk...He ADORES Jonah -- no-one can make him laugh like Jonah...though he does find me quite hilarious, as well, if you wanna know the truth! He's such a good sleeper -- he actually had a 4 hour nap this afternoon -- pretty much missing half of his birthday and Christmas to sleep. He loves his sleep. (maybe THIS kid will be more like his Daddy!!) :) He's determined. Jonah was always so easy to distract - Levi is persistent - you cannot really convince him of something he's not interested in...or 'hide' something he wants...He doesn't give up easily. Already I see that...He's very expressive - his brown puppy-dog eyes can pretty well melt your heart...Yesterday I barely tapped his hand after he had thrown his sippy cup onto the floor again...well - the heart-wrenching pouty lip and wailing cry that let me know I  had just broken his dear little heart...broke MY heart. And Jonah's!! The three of us were a mess of tears...Jonah couldn't finish eating his breakfast 'cause he was so sad about Levi being sad -- Levi just needed cuddles - HE couldn't finish his breakfast...what a mess! oh dear. Lastnight he threw his sippy cup on the floor - and Jonah got a realy worried look and said "please, Mama...don't....please don't spank him. I will be mad if you do."

Levi is a happy little baby...very happy to entertain himself - very 'obliging' to Jonah's constant wrestling, taking toys, pushing, rough-play, tickling, kisses, constant ATTENTION...he's a good little brother!! I am so interested to see what he will be like as he's changing and growing and developing his little personality more...He is just a joy - so cute and tiny and baby-ish....he is a good eater - and a very good milk drinker...great to take out - seems more and more interested in people and the busy-ness around him when we're out and about...he does seem to love to be home, though...he's starting to really recognize and like certain people -- he's been quite smitten with Erin lately! He's standing - not super interested in walking yet though. Which is fine with me! He loves to be outside...seems to be fine to be in his carseat and driving around...he HATES hats. He cries and yanks and yanks 'til he (or Jonah!) gets it off! He loves his blue blankie - it soothes him sometimes, just to touch it. He sucks his thumb - but only usually when he's tired -- and always when we walk into his room, he immediately puts his head down on my arm and shoves his little thumb into his mouth. he only really says 'mama, da-da, and ba-ba' (which we tell Jonah means 'brother' but who knows??)...

I am so incredibly incredibly grateful to have this sweet little baby in our lives. We prayed for him for such a long time -- he is such a blessing in our lives...

Happy Birthday, Levi-man...you are so deeply and truly loved, baby.

3 Gifts Lit

1. Our colored lights on our Christmas tree -- so bright and cheery and cozy - I love our little home at Christmas!
2. The bright red nose of the stuffed animal Rudolph toy that my Aunt Vera gave the boys last week -- at first I was annoyed to have 'one more thing' to try to find a spot for in our home that is quickly getting over-crowded and cluttered...but they both love it so much - it sings and its nose lights up -- its funny the things you're willing to allow for your kids!
3. The way Levi's face lights up when he sees Jonah after he wakes up from a nap or in the morning - it is so sweet to see the way these two boys love each other!

3 Gifts Angelic Song

1. The sweet little voice of my baby singing every time he hears music - which is often!! I love the sweet songs and sounds that come from him as he is discovering more and more this little voice inside him!
2. The laughter that comes from this home daily -- what a gift it is to laugh! What a sweet sound to hear laughter from our kiddos -- Levi's laugh is adorable and hilarious, like he is humoring us! - and Jonah has the heartiest laugh of any kid I know and he laughs often! -- Jason is the most entertaining laugher I know -- and I am a crier when I laugh - and perhaps a little 'loud', as well...I love our home that is filled with laughter - many of the things we laugh at are things 'only we' would laugh at - and I love that!
3. David Phelps singing "O Holy Night"...you must listen to this if you haven't...it is amazing -- I am so happy to be able to listen to music and have so much availabe for free at our fingertips with the internet! This is one of my very favorite Christmas songs, and listening to him sing it is quite amazing!

3 Gifts Manger Small

1. The sweet little Nativity set I have displayed on my mantle...a reminder of the real story of Christmas.
2. I can hardly believe Jesus -- the Creator and God of the universe...was born in a place where animals ate...in a barn - that must have smelled and been cold and dark, and He came anyways...and He came because He loved us...
3. I still love the sweet song "Away in a Manger"...a song I've been singing since I was a little girl...

3 Gifts Miraculous

1. We are watching The Nativity Story right now...and it is still so amazing to me, the miracle of Jesus' birth, being birthed by such a young girl -- a virgin - and that He chose to come to us this way...Tonight, as we were putting Jonah to bed, he wanted to sing a worship song he was going to make up...He called it "Christmas Holiday Worship Song"...and sang these words (we told him it had to be quick!): "Peace on earth...truth and grace...we know what Christmas is all about...Jesus Christ is born...He loves us and He knows us..." The bit he added about Santa coming to town need not be added!! haha. He sang about Santa, and then said "nooo...that's not a worship song, is it?" I love hearing him sing about Jesus. I didn't even really know he knew the word "grace"...I love hearing bits and pieces of the truth he knows about Jesus...what a gift to have these boys in our lives...
2. That we can even know God and have a relationship with Jesus - is such a miracle! It is hard for me to imagine NOT having God in my life, being raised in a Christian family with such a godly heritage...but it is such an amazing gift to be redeemed - to be His child, and to have the peace and hope that only He can give...I could not imagine my life without Him.
3. I believe my boys are a miracle. The struggle to get pregnant for so many years, the many many prayers from my heart and the hearts of so many others...I believe God answered these prayers with the blessing of these two little boys...they are such an incredible joy, an amazing gift and miracle from Him.

3 Gifts Frosted

1. Because our snow had come and gone, and it never seems quite as Christmas-y without snow for me...this afternoon, when Jay and Jonah were heading in to town to get some Christmas presents, and looking out to see a covering of snow on the ground...I loved hearing the sound of Jason scraping the windows on the car...something so 'wintery' and Christmas-y about hearing that sound -- especially when I could stay warm and cozy inside!
2. Seeing Jonah's excitement for Christmas and hearing him sing Christmas songs - Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and Rudolph being a few of his faves! - it is so much fun experiencing the joy of Christmas with a 4 year old!
3. The cream cheese frosting I'm going to be making tomorrow for Levi's birthday cake! I love having this sweet little baby to celebrate - even though Christmas seems like the worst possible day to have a birthday - we are determined to make it special for him every year - and its fun to have Christmas-related things for his birthday! Hard to believe its been almost a full year since we've known this babe...

3 Gifts Bethlehem - Unlikely

1. The Drummer Boy...I don't think this guy is in the Bible, but he's got his own song -- and one of Jonah's favorite Christmas songs -- he's pretty sure HE is the drummer boy -- it was the part he played in his Sunday School concert...a few days ago we were reading a library book about the Christmas story...each page, someone new from the story entered the page...Jonah says to me: "I can't wait until the drummer boy comes."  Well...the story ended and the drummer boy didn't enter the scene, so Jonah says "Why didn't the drummer boy come, too? He's important, too...I'M important, too." (Seems that he WAS listening when we were telling him how important his part was in the concert!) So...I love the Drummer Boy...and we love that song in this home!
2. All the songs we have about Christmas - its amazing to me how many different songs there are, describing this beautiful holiday, and telling the story of the arrival of our Saviour...I love Christmas music -- one of my favorites is "Mary, Did You Know?" -- as a mother...it is amazing to me to think of what Mary must have gone through, first of all giving BIRTH in a BARN!!!! - are you serious??? and having a child inside her body from the HOLY SPIRIT?? -- oh my soul -- think about that...that is crazy!!! And to raise a child who did not sin. Who she knew would be the Saviour of the world?? How overwhelming and emotional the whole journey of motherhood must have been for her...I love hearing this song - especially the line that says "When you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God..." so beautiful, so humbling...that GOD came to us in the form of a baby...
3. I love hearing the Christmas story read from the Bible -- out loud. My Dad reads it every Christmas morning - and its so familiar, but I still love to hear it read...I love thinking about how GOD...left His place in heaven...to become a baby...so he could become a man and we could identify with Him as a person...so He could DIE...so we could live and have a relationship with Him...and could spend an eternity with Him...its simple, familiar...and incredible.

A Gift Gold, Scented, Bent Low

1. My white gold wedding band and engagement ring - a beautiful symbol of the love and commitment we made to each other almost 10 years ago...the gift of a happy marriage to my best friend.
2. The "Vanilla Spice" handsoap in my bathroom from Bath & Body Works...so yummy!
3. The many hearts and heads hung low in sadness over these many lives taken...words seem inadequate...the 'gift' here is almost hard to see...but, for me, it is in being able to see names and faces on the tv screen, and remembering these dear lives, and sharing sorrow and sadness with a community hundreds of miles away, and offering prayers to a God who I know hears and is grieved so deeply, too - its in the knowing that God is still a good God who loves and cares and can offer comfort and hope...its in the perspective and reminder of the frailty of life...the reminder of living each day as if it were your last...making sure to show kindness and hold close, the ones we love...the gift in this for me, too...is in the gratefulness of the two boys I have sleeping upstairs...and the compassion He gives us for a nation in grief...how it 'hits home' hearing their names said out loud, seeing their pictures, hearing small details of their lives...and choosing to not let fear run our lives...these words from a friend tonight, just a few miles from where this terrible tragedy happened just a few days ago in Newtown, Connecticut: "No, I will not let fear control this family, this home, this faith. I shamelessly accept the peace that has been given to me. Yes, I am filled with sadness but I am carried by hope. Yes, there has been darkness here but I have the light of the world. Peace to all tonight."

3 Gifts Stamped

1. This happened many years ago...but I remember Jason telling me, the night that he told me he loved me, that he realized with all the wedding invitations he had gotten in the mail from friends...he dreaded getting one from me, announcing my wedding with someone else...he wanted to be the one to marry me!! So, when I was mailing out our wedding invitations, me living in PEI, and him in New York...I mailed him one of our wedding invitations - and I'm so glad it was OUR names on that wedding invitation...I love this man...
2. The letter out on the shelf in our kitchen WAITING for a stamp!! Its from Jonah to Santa...and I know Santa is the less-spiritual part of Christmas...but its fun and magical and fun to see Jonah's excitement this year and I loved helping him write his letter to Santa, and I love seeing this whole season's joy and delight through his eyes!
3. The rubber stamps I have in my cabinet so I can make Christmas cards just a little bit cuter! The one I am thinking of right now says "Wishing you Joy"...which I am. So much sadness and heart-ache...and a spirit that is longing for joy and hope...and grateful to know a God Who freely offers us both.

3 Gifts Striped

1. The two striped stockings hung on our mantle, on either side of the 'berry red' ones that belong to me and Jay...for my two little boys...a beautiful thing, these two little blessings that I get to mother...and am reminded in light of tragedy of how very very fortunate I am to have them at all, and to know they are safely tucked into their beds upstairs sleeping peacefully...
2. The red-and-white-striped shirt my little sister was wearing lastnight when she came in to show us her DIAMOND RING!!!!! - she's so pretty anyways, but especially beautiful lastnight wearing red, and glowing with love...I love this girl...she is not just my sister, but best friend - the one person other than my boys who I spend the most TIME with...I could not be happier for her -- we've been through a LOT together...and I have LOVED watching her fall in love...so incredibly happy for you both, little sitah!
3. Candy Canes everywhere!!! So bright and yummy and fresh-tasting.

the grace I learn from him...

So....having a 4 year old boy with a very dramatic personality, who likely should be in preschool, but his Mama doesn't have the funds, vehicle or desire to have him there just yet...who is probably understimulated at times because his Mama believes in the power of play, realizing once he starts school his 'play' is limited from that time forward, for the rest of his life...well...it makes for some crazy days at times, and a fury of emotions run wild in this home with a little boy who is very much like his Mama...but he has much more grace than I....

The morning started off rather frustrating...

So, I, of course feel guilty at the reactions I have at times, and...in typical Bredin fashion...apologize over...and over...and over again.

So I just now say to him again..."Jonah...I'm sorry I get so upset at you sometimes....you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do, Mama...of course I do. Don't worry...I still love you..."

I think he's forgotten already, as he seems to do...the fury of a 4 year old mind that forgets what I've asked him to do only moments later...also brings some redemption, as he 'forgets' my short-comings...and loves me well and unconditionally as though I am a perfect Mama.

I wish I had that un-grudging heart more than I do. I learn so much from this boy.

3 Gifts Berry Red

1. My front door. We have a very old house, and while it is cozy and sweet and I am so incredibly grateful to have our own little home...there are many, many things I wish we had the money to change...all the layers and layers of not-so-lovely wallpaper, for example...But...I am choosing to see the things that are sweet and beautiful...and my door is one of the things I love...it is wooden and old...and red! My favorite color! And right now it has a toll-painted Nativity wreath on it - and it is country-ish and sweet and welcoming! One of the things I love about Christmas is all the brightly colored reds and greens everywhere! Beautiful...
2. The two red stockings hanging on our mantle. We got them our first Christmas together, and, even though I have a terrible memory...I can vividly remember and actually almost feel the excitement and fun we had shopping together looking for them and any other little treasure we could find that suited our fancy, running around Target without a care in the world, except for being in love. We have gone through alot together, me and Jay...man, I love that guy.
3. The jars of raspberry jam on my shelf in the kitchen -- I discovered a couple years ago how easy it is to make raspberry jam - and how much more delicious than store-bought -- I am down to my last two jars - which means there will likely be a new batch in the next couple weeks - I love making it - and toast with raspberry jam is one of my favorite snacks/comfort foods. Delish - pretty - and cheaper than store-bought. Lovely.

3 Gifts Ice Cold

1. Oh my word, we have 3 containers of this deliciousness in our freezer right now, and it is soo so yummy. Why 3 containers, you ask? We ran out last week, so I went to the store to buy some and snuck it into the freezer to surprise Jay. Jay came home from the store the other day with the same surprise for me...and Erin came over the next night and brought her own little surprise package!! We do love ourselves some Candy Cane ice cream...such a Christmas-y treat and lovely to share with my little family!
2. Yesterday was our first 'real' snowfall and it was so beautiful!! I love the freshness and magical feeling of a fresh snowfall - and how coming inside again after playing in the snow makes it so much cozier and homey...I do sometimes get annoyed with the snow, by mid-March or so...but I'm thankful to live in a place that has four distinct seasons!
3. In the morning, Jonah often crawls into bed with me...and snuggles himself right in...I'm not a 'feet person'...but his cold little feet tucked right into my legs and arms plastered all over me...though I'm trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep...I'm (not always, but often....!!) happy to snuggle this little boy, knowing he may not always be so interested in doing so...he's been learning to stay in bed until 7:00...so the very moment the clock turns, he's wanting to come downstairs...so we make our way to the couch, and cover our cold bodies, snuggling up again under our big fuzzy blue blanket...its one of the only quiet moments of the day with Jonah...and one of my favorites.

3 Gifts Unframed Art

1. I finally dug out our winter clothes and washed them today. First real snow fall - I guess it was just time. One of the items was a pink hat that Jason crocheted for me last winter. He seriously learned how to do it by watching YouTube....my smart little husband. I'll admit, it is a tad big, but...a work of art...an expression of his love.  He is the coolest man. My goodness, I love that guy.
2. There is evidence everywhere of art and gifts made by the sweet little hands of my 4 year old...I hope he always gets such delight about creating and giving works of art to his Mama. They come in the forms of coloring, drawing, scultping, building, performing, dancing, singing, playing, cuddling...and just being his own little piece of artwork...and he's beautiful. Also abstract and vivid and piercing and frightening, too, at times!! Versatile and colorful and unique and wonderful and sweet...I see something different each day I look again...for he is changing...faster than I'd like. So I must savour these days even more...
3. The first time I went to visit Jason in New York, he was making home-made pasta - feeding it through the pasta machine as I walked in the door...that sly little fella...woo-ing me in with his home-made lasagna...I love when he cooks for me! He works long days and I don't get to be the recipient of his creations as much as I'd like, but...one of my favorite things he makes is pasta...I love his patience and perfectionism and skill to make it so perfect and lovely and delicious...it is an art-form I do not have the patience for, to be certain.  He is a man of many talents and gifts...and he's all mine!

3 Gifts Ugly Beautiful

1. For years, I have struggled with infertility. Days, and weeks, and months and YEARS of wondering if my deepest heart's desire would come true. I cannot say I always handled it with grace - many many many moments of ugly...sadness and despair I can't even now explain adequately...the grief and longing for children I wasn't sure would ever exist...the loss felt so deeply for someone who wasn't even there to begin with...and hoping with such deep agony that God would please just listen to my heart, listen to my begging and fill my belly with a child so I could be a Mama....it is a beautiful, beautiful gift, being a mother.  I am so incredibly grateful to God that He redeemed my broken heart and gave me His grace to go through such heart-wrenching years of longing...and gave me these two little boys to love and mother. My most beautiful gift. 
2. The scar from an unplanned surgery to bring my 9.3 pound baby into this world...the extra 'lovins' around my mid-section...the stretch marks and saggy boobs...not so pretty...but great reminders of the answers to prayer for the two babies that God has graciously seen fit to be my sons.
3. The stress and craziness and 'busy' that is involved in being a family 'in the ministry'...the toll it takes on the wife left to basically mother 5 children on her own while the Dad/Pastor looks after the many, many needs of others so he doesn't disappoint anyone and their great expectations and find himself out of a job to support said wife and children...the shielding as best they can, their children, from the woes and worries of living beneath reasonable financial security, hurt and pain inflicted on them by others...the only-now-realized imaginable strain on a marriage that doesn't allow for much 'quality time' due to the needs of the congregation and needs of the varying ages of children in their care....the letting go in the worst possible timing of finally diagnosed disease, left to worry for future finances and health...made beautiful for time finally had to spend together....a marriage made beautiful in difficult times, times to finally be real and vulnerable before their now-grown children, time to laugh together, time to just 'be' who they are and not always who everyone thought they ought to be...walking through life together...needing each other...seeing God's grace real...a family close, and witness of God's goodness in heart-ache...He has taken some broken-ness and sadness and hurt and betrayal and made us a passionate group of people who can perhaps bring out the worst in each other at times...but if you dare cross us...you better know there are plenty of us, and we have each others' backs. I do so love my dear little family.

3 Days of Gifts...

Ohh, I knew I couldn't do it...but I am determined to make up for the last couple days...

3 Gifts from my Saviour:

1. Grace. Its a word that's become very 'common' in our church over the years...almost like we thought we were amongst the few who really 'got it'...a grasp on understanding grace...how arrogant. But GRACE...oh my soul, where in the world would we be if it weren't for His grace??? I grew up in a conservative, traditional Baptist church, being a pastor's kid, with some fairly legalistic people in my world...I could look back on my growing up years and look at a lot of 'ungrace'...but I believe Jesus was still real to me, even in my young, young years...so, I experienced His grace, even as a child...and much of seeing grace lived out, was through my Mom...a very gracious, godly, loving Christ-like human being...and the hugest impact on my life...Jesus was real to her...and real to me...showering me time and time again with grace, showing me that it is actually...all. about...Him. and the grace that HE gives...giving me so much more than I deserve...and not based on a single thing that I have done...truly. amazing.
2. Hope. I do not have a clue how people get through -- anything, really -- without the hope of Jesus being in control and the hope of Him working 'all things together for good to those who love God..."  not just HERE, either...it is the hope of a purpose bigger than all I know right here, right now...knowing there is something so much more than this...the hope of an eternity with Jesus...free of pain, and hurt and disappointment and struggle...the hope of a life lived face to face with Him...and not just for life beyond the here and now...but hope for today...and hope for tomorrow...
3. Little blessings. Seeing Jesus becoming more and more real to my little boy...seeing the magic and wonder of Christmas through his eyes...seeing him on stage this morning for his Sunday School concert, being the little drummer boy, and being sooo pleased to have that part, even though it was small...seeing him take his role seriously and be excited and sing for Jesus...listening to this boy pray every single night, starting his prayers, always the same..."Dear God...thank You for how You love us...and thank You that You know us..."...great theology...and a great reminder of the simplicity and wonder of a God who loves me and knows me...and LOVES me even THOUGH He KNOWS ME!....gifts of food and generosity and kindness of others when we actually really need it.  This beautiful little Christmas tree lighting up our living room and making it so cozy and sweet...and blessing me that we get to share this Christmas with TWO little boys...they are...over and over again, the greatest blessings of my life. I am BLESSED to be a Mama...truly.

A Gift Hung, Held, Heard

1. Tonight as we decorated our Christmas tree, we found a little sled ornament that we had written on the back of :"Our First Christmas 2003" - and I think of how this will be our 10th Christmas together married...and we still love each other...we still actually like each other...and there is no-one in the world I would rather share my life with each and every day.  The little ornaments decorating our sweet, imperfect little tree are reminders of years spent together...good years. Happy, hard, heart-breaking at times...but good...having my best friend and soul-mate walking through each day with me...makes life so much sweeter and better.
2. Again with the sap...but tonight I brought out the Christmas mugs we got our very first Christmas - been drinking delicious hot drinks out of those cute little mugs for a lot of years now...and I quickly flash back through each of those Christmases and marvel at the differences each year brings...and the joy to still have a faithful friend and husband to go through this journey of life with...and to know without doubt I am loved...
3. Honestly...listening to those sweet little kids singing at the Sunday School concert this morning: Emmanuel...Emmanuel...God incarnate, here to dwell..Emmanuel...Emmanuel, praise His name Emmanuel...(Christ Tomlin - if you've not heard this song...youtube it...it is beautiful.) you may be missing a few little cuties in his version, but...this song is lovely...and listening to it this morning, and seeing my little boy up there singing his little heart out...just a beautiful gift.

3 Gifts Ugly Beautiful
...this one's gonna have to wait. we wanted to be in bed by 11:00 - and it is 11:09...I could make a joke here about how ugly I'm gonna be if I don't get my beauty sleep...but I won't.

3 Gifts Sweet

Ohhh -- I love sweet things toooooo much -- I'm glad this is limited to three, so anyone reading doesn't judge me too much!

1. My sweetheart...too obvious?? well -- its my list!!! I'm serious -- Jason is STILL my very favorite person in the world to be with -- my best, best friend - I find such safety and security in this relationship and friendship we share - not that we don't have struggles or get on each others nerves, but -- I still am so in love with this man -- he is kind and cares about others, and has a heart for our church and the world around him - and he is the best Dad...these boys adore him - rightfully so! - and I am just beyond grateful to have him in my life...
2. I woke up with a terrible, terrible head-ache today - made me sick to my stomach, I couldn't go to work -- and my sweet, sweet Mom came down and looked after the boys so I could rest - and after many pills and a few pieces of peanut butter toast and a cup of coffee...I felt much better...I am soo so grateful for all my Mom does for me and my little family...she is the most generous and selfless person I know...my life is sweeter because of her.
3. We made Gingerbread Trees yesterday - different shaped star cookies, piled on top of each other to make a Christmas tree - and decorated with icing and candies and sprinkles...fun and delicious if I do say so myself.

3 Gifts Silver

1. I inherited silveware - like, REAL silver-ware from my Aunt - my mother's sister...it is polished and lovely - and not something I would have been able to buy myself...but something beautiful to have...we tend to only use on 'special' occassions, but when I use it, I think of my Aunt Jeannie, and am reminded of the blessing of the life I have and the people I have to share it with...
2. I'm looking down as these bright Santa-ish-looking slippers my Mom bought me a couple weeks ago with these little silver bells on them jingling with even the slightest movement...and think about a few things to do with these puffy, cheery slippers with the silver bells...a) My Mom...is probably the most generous person I know...she does not have much, to be sure...but she is kind and generous, always giving little gifts and making meals, and blessing me...and many others...she is the most amazing example in my life of grace and kindness and godliness...my life is richer in so many ways for having her in it...I could write a book about tis lady...but...onto my b) Jonah wears these slippers and puts on a Santa hat OFTEN these days, pretending to BE Santa...wrapping up presents, toys, papers, whatever he can find...and it makes me smile, thinking of his imagination and excitement for Christmas...I love seeing life through him - he makes everything so exciting and fun! c) Levi is quite smitten with these slippers, too -- the fuzziness and the jingle of the bells...I literally have to throw them on the other side of the baby gate or he will have that white fuzz in his mouth...my life is just oozing these little boys...they are in every part of what I do and what my life entails every day...and I (mostly!) love it!
3. I have these pretty little silver hoop ear-rings that Jason got me for Christmas last year...or perhaps it was the year before...he is sweet to buy me ear-rings every year for Christmas....and they are the only ear-rings small enough - AND pretty enough to be able to wear with Levi - he tends to be very grabby!!

And now...I must go to bed.

A Gift Circling, Crowning, Crafted

Oh man, this gift thing is fun...and challenging. Its 11:06pm...and I JUST now looked at the list...even though I've been thinking of 'gifts' today...I didn't think of this specifically...

1. Circling: I look down at my left hand and see these 2 beautiful rings circling around my finger, symbolizing the fact that I have, laying beside me on the couch...an amazing man who I have entered into a life-time covenant relationship with...I am incredibly grateful to be married to my best friend -- who is STILL my very favorite person in all the world to be with...I felt like I waited a long time for him (now I think its silly I thought I was OLD when I was only 26 when I got married...but in comparison to many of my friends...I was several years 'late') -- I'm blessed to share my life with this man...
2. Crowning: not exactly a crown, but...it makes me think of the dear sweet heads that belong to my little boys...which are covered these days in 'hats'...not crowns, per sey, but..."crowning" isn't exactly in my daily vocabulary so I will use some liberty with this one! I kiss their sweet foreheads all the time - I don't know why its one of my favorite spots to kiss them, but...I just love their sweet little foreheads...and am grateful to have these two healthy happy little boys in my life...they were both difficult to conceive...and I do not forget the pain involved in waiting for them...now they are here, and I am grateful that I get to be their Mama...and happy they both seem to be very fond of kisses!
3. Crafted: there is evidence all over my home of various crafts from my little 4 year old, who is continually creating and using his (over-active!) imagination to give me and many others gifts made with his own sweet hands...it is his joy to make things and wrap them up in blankets, pillows, paper, whatever he can find...and though I admit the clutter is really starting to get to me...his little creations bring such joy to me, and I love seeing the evidence scattered all throughout this little home. I am blessed.

3 Gifts Shining

Yay!! I'm on Day 3...and its December 3rd...not 23rd. Good for me.

3 Gifts Shining:

1. I have to just say, the pretty little Christmas lights going up my banister, shining their little hearts out...make me so happy. Its the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning: plugging them in...and they do all kinds of fading in and out, blinking fun little things too when I want them to...so they are #1 on my list tonight!! Also..."shining" is hard, kind of close to "bright"...I've been thinking about it all day.
2. Jonah's face literally shines whenever we do anything out of the ordinary...these days its everything Christmas-related! Tonight getting his Advent gift from his little sock AND getting to eat a gumdrop cake...a boy TOO much after my own heart...he loves himself some treats, this kid! But I am loving seeing Christmas and LIFE through his eyes...we've always said about him how much LOVE FOR LIFE! he has...and I love that about him...may be a little stretch on the word 'shine', but...his joy for life really does shine though him, and I am grateful at a little dose of perspective that he offers me when I make it a point to notice!
3. I hate to cheat and use a gift of shining by mentioning a song with the very word 'shine', but...its something I have actually been thinking about all day. "Mighty to Save"...because, I actually thought we were going to watch the Louie Giglio dvd "Fruitcake and Ice Cream" tonight for our small group...which we didn't, but -- I've seen it before and I remember how much I loved his reference at the end to the song "Mighty to Save"...which is practically hymn-genre now we've sung it so much and for so many years, but...it is still one of my favorite worship songs..."Shine your light and let the whole world see...we're singing for the glory of the Risen King: JESUS!!!...." I mention this because of the song I love...and the challenge to myself to really allow Jesus to shine in my life...I'm afraid I don't LET Him very often...but it is my desire to let Him be seen in my life...to really shine and make HIS presence known in me...

3 Gifts Bright

Oh my word. I almost forgot to do it!! My little 'blogging challenge' to myself is to do this 31 days of journaling gifts idea from Ann Voskamp:

 

 

I haven't even looked all the way through it...so...I make no promises, but...here I am on Day 2. Kudos to me.

 

3 Gifts Bright:

1. My little brother gave his girlfriend a beautiful ("bright"!!) diamond ring today -- my BABY brother is engaged!!! The ring is BRIGHT and beautiful...and their faces were equally glowing with joy and sweetness... So happy to see 2 of my younger siblings in love with people WE love, as well!!! One sibling left to fall in love...I love my family...
2. The virtual bright orange fireplace on my tv right now, pumping out Christmas tunes while my hubby and I relax for a few more moments in our cozy little Christmas-y living room before we head to bed.
3. The beautiful bright pink sky I got to see this morning as I was up just as the sun was coming up...gorgeous winter sunrise!!

 

 

 

 



3 Gifts White

Ha! Remember a few months ago, I decided I was going to do the whole Ann Voskamp thing and start recording my blessings/gifts?

Fail. I did not do it.

Just saw something on facebook about recording this month, every day, 3 specific gifts. I'll give 'er a whirl. I'll likely report back here in a few weeks, having only recorded these 3 gifts, but...

whatever. Since I type more than WRITE with a pen and paper...here it goes:

3 Gifts White:

1. The white chocolate candy I'm going to make tomorrow: "White Trash" (not the name I gave it - I should really think of another name for it!) - melted white chocolate with Golden Grahams cereal, dried cranberries and peanuts in it...kinda like a bark soo unbelievably yummy.
2. The tiny little snowflakes that were floating around in the air today.
3. Levi's sweet little toothy white smile. I mean. seriously.