Leaf Day

Well -- last Fall, we had our first 'annual' holiday that we declared to be: "Leaf Day." Just a 'reason' (if you need a reason) to drive around these pretty country Island roads on a beautiful Fall Day, take family pictures, and come home at the end of the 'tour' and eat cake!



 

So, we had our second annual "Leaf Day" celebration yesterday...

 

Since summer ended, Jonah's been asking when Leaf Day was coming! So -- yesteday we declared it to be Leaf Day! A gorgeous, sunny Fall Day -- driving around this beautiful Island...stopping to take pictures whenever we felt so inclined.

 

It. was. perfect.

 

 

 Doesn't it look perfect???  The beautiful colors, the smiling faces, the delicious cake???

Well. It was fun, but it was far from perfect. Which reminds me of how deceptive blogs and facebook and anything online can really be. I can make my life look any way I want it to online...and when I read other people's blogs, or look at their pictures or facebook statuses...I need to realize...its only 'part' of the story...I read only what people want me to read...and even then...its through my own perception, so it can easily be distorted.

But I do strive to be authentic...even if only for my own self...

Jonah was grumpy and tired all day long, to be honest.  And there's alot of 'pressure' for a Saturday to be nothing less than perfect: our one family day all week...and trying to please all of us, and do it in the timeframes specified in between meals and naps...is not always an easy task.

But we prevailed. And it was fine, but our level of frustration with Jonah was certainly escalated.  Oh my word, this boy has emotions...and he is NOT afraid to vocalize how he's feeling. I'm grateful he is verbal more than physical, but...it is so. ex.haus.ting. good grief, that boy is intense.

But, you don't need to know all the details...if you have mothered a 4 year old, you know exactly what I mean. And the details are not necessary.

We were all quite happy to go to bed lastnight, knowing we had a 'new day' to try again to do better and be happier when we all woke up.

And today WAS better. Amazing what sleep can do for us all. Jonah still naps most of the time...and he needs his sleep. If he doesn't get it, he can certainly function...but he is a much happier and obliging child by mid-afternoon and early evening if he's had a nap for ANY length of time during the afternoon.

Oh, I do so love that boy, though. He is anything but boring!! So much energy and LIFE in that little fella...and I love that about him. most of the time...though sometimes, it really is quite exhausting.  But I love his sensitive heart, too -- and his imagination and creativity!  He's been singing 'worship songs' that he makes up for quite awhile now, and he sings them with me and Jay on our bed right before we take him into his bedroom at night. Lately he's been naming these songs...and it is just amazing to me the words that come out of this kid's mouth...I so badly want to record them, but he does become a bit of a performer when that camera is out...

But it is the sweetest thing...

Often his words are similar: "I love You Lord...You know us, and You made us...and You are everywhere...and You live across the street, but You live here...and You were born on Christmas Day, and You are the best, and You are wonderful, and You are good and I love You and You love me..."

I love that He knows Jesus...and it is amazing to me how much Jesus has become clearer to me since I see Him through Jonah's eyes...

So, despite my 4 year old being...a 4 year old with 4 year old craziness and emotions and disobedience...and he tries my patience and makes me see the weaknesses that are in ME....I love him with all that I have in this heart of mine...He is an amazing little person...and I am. truly. incredibly grateful that I get to be his Mama.

I love it.

Disney Earth

This morning Jonah and I were watching some of the Disney Earth dvd we got from the library yesterday -- he and Jason watched some of it lastnight for 'boys night' while I worked - and this morning - while I was still in bed -- he brought the dvd in to me and couldn't wait for me to see 'the hilarious bird' and the 'sweet little polar bears that remind us of Levi' and the ducks that fly out of the trees that they named after each kid in Sunday school.

So I obliged. (after lying in bed for just a few minutes longer!)

And the very first opening 'scene' which shows a sort of icey castle-like sculpture...Jonahs says: "ooohh. this is a little bit scary." so I reply: "no, its not scary, Jo, its beautiful." So, he agrees and says "yeah, its beautiful...it looks just like heaven."

We're watching and he keeps commenting: "Ohhh...this part is so amazing."

"This part is beautiful..."

"I'm crying a little bit 'cause I just love it so much..."

"Can you believe this, Mama?? Did you know that God made all these things??"

After watching the Louie Giglio dvd "Indescribable" on Monday for small group, and watching this dvd about the incredible detail God has given to life on this earth...and seeing the awe in my 4 year old and how he sees God at work in the beautiful world He's created...God is more and more real. I wish I had that wonder all the time. I wish it wasn't so fleeting and I wasn't so self-centred to appreciate it all, all the time.

But I see Him. I don't always recognize what I'm looking at because I fail to acknowledge His beauty when I feel so human and so tired and so easily frustrated with this 4 year old of mine...but He is showing up in my life every day...and through these children of mine.  I love that.

And if you haven't seen either of these dvd's I've mentioned...do it. for real. you will not be disappointed.

One Thousand Gifts

I haven't read One Thousand Gifts...though I sorta feel like I have because soo so many people quote her and talk about her, and write their own blessings...and I've glanced through Ann Voskamp's blog some...and have decided, that right now...In this very moment...while I am as my facebook status claims (so it must be true!) 'half-way between amused and annoyed' right now about the face that my 2 boys while they were 'supposed' to be napping...were chattering and laughing and distracting each other from napping...while I was desperately trying to ignore the noise...and reading through blogs and facebook news to try to get my 'few minutes' of alone time before I delved into getting supper ready. I get annoyed when 'my time' is interrupted.

But...I will choose to 'look on the bright side' right now and intentionally count some blessings for today. I used to keep a journal of blessings...and I really should be doing that again...because all too often I fail to look at the gifts I have, and instead look at what I wish was/wasn't...and I don't want to be that kind of person. I get annoyed at those people....so I don't want to be that person.

1. a husband that came home with a fuse for the dryer and voila! its working again. hooray for not having to buy a new dryer quite yet.
2. two boys who adore each other. while their chatter and noise and laughter was keeping them from napping when I thought they should be...it did make me laugh out loud and reminded me of the many many prayers begging God to give me children in the first place. and to have two of them! and two who adore each other...I really am so grateful.
3. a visit this morning with a 97 year old lady who is much like a grandmother to me...and observing such a pleasant and godly person who has been walking this earth for almost one hundred years...and STILL so happy and such an example...a reminder of all I have to be grateful for...and a challenge to be one of those people who is a joy to be around...despite hardships. This lady has seen many, but the joy of the Lord...is still her strength. I'm blessed to have her in my life. and blessed to be mentioned in her prayers.
4. this little boy sitting beside me...and the smell of his clean, curly hair...and the fact that he still loves to cuddle and snuggle his Mama...makes me a little less annoyed that he's not in his bed napping...but sittin happily beside me watching a show so I can 'pretend' to have just a few more minutes of 'me-time' on this computer before getting up and getting dinner ready.
5. Speaking of dinner. Roasted Red Pepper and Goat Cheese Alfredo. Yes please.
6. looking out on this cloudy dark day...and seeing the brightness of the trees with all the beautiful oranges, reds, yellows and greens...I love myself some Fall.
7. sitting on my couch at 3:00 in the afternoon in jeans and a sweatshirt...and so grateful I don't have to be at a job, wearing heels and dress-clothes.
8. home-made brown bread from my Mom. so seriously delicious.
9. The lights on the baby monitor are finally dark...which means hopefully this blessed baby is finally sleeping. happy he is normally a very good sleeper, and days like today are not the norm.
10. clean floors.
11. sitting on the couch knowing that there are no crumbs and other disgusting things under the cushions...why I don't take the 3 minutes it took to vacuum more often...I don't know. But I did today, and that makes me happy.
12. laughing at my silly list here knowing this is probably not at ALL what Ann Voskamp writes about, but...its still helping me count my own little blessings...and grateful I have a place to type and write and think...and a computer to write on.
13. The sun is streaming in through my window right this minute...it will likely last only a few moments judging by the look of the dark clouds around it but...there is definetely something about the sun that just makes me feel cheerier.
14. I'm looking around this room and seeing evidences of a little boy who is in Sunday school and bringing home crafts and verses...and thinking about how much he loves Sundays and how happy he is to go upstairs to his class...I love that.
15. Jonah saying his prayers lastnight and then a minute later.... "Dear God...again...please let our dryer be fixed. Amen." (Jonah has had so many of his prayers answered as he has asked. its just normal for him to go to God about things. Last week we were talking about having more babies...so he says: "We should ask God for more babies...please? Please, can we ask God for another baby?" He remembers how much we prayed for God to give us another baby and He gave us Levi.) Joy in knowing our children really ARE from God.

I need to get my supper ready. But already I love that I have thought of little things I could easily just pass by if I'm not intentionally looking for the little joys God gives me every day.

perspective

I've been thinking about perspective alot lately, and talking about it with people...yet: I just don't always HAVE it.

I am just so determined to make Jonah be obedient -- I try being patient, being consistent, disciplining creatively, taking things away, giving grace, punishing immediately, giving warnings, counting to 3, spanking, time-outs, taking away computer time, not giving treats, giving stickers, making charts, yelling, whispering...and I still just don't win!!!! not all the time, anyways.

But - what do I expect??? That I will 'master' this parenting gig in 4 years and have a 4 year old child who obeys every single time I ask him to??? Who do I think he is???

I am trying -- TRYING -- to be consistent, and to be gracious and loving, and firm...and trying to understand the heart of this little boy so I don't completely lose it every time he 'defies' me. Sometimes he does -- and sometimes...he is just being four...

Its hard. Spending 12+ hours every day with these littles who are so emotionally draining. I would NOT trade it for anything...not for a job or a windfall of cash...I wouldn't. But, its not easy. I am emotionally exhausted so many days. But determined to savour this time as well -- knowing his days with me are fleeting -- in less than a year he will be spending the majority of his days in school. away from me. And I have no doubt in my mind I will miss him and look back longingly on THESE days, wishing I had of savoured them even more.  And 90% of the time I do enjoy it. (it USED to be 95%!! haha) -- I love being their Mama, I love spending my days with them, I love being home and raising them, and seeing their little personalities develop...but I need some perspective sometimes, to make me realize how truly blessed I am.

I have two healthy boys. I read through statuses of friends going through such deep heart-ache watching their children being so sick...and THAT...gives me some perspective. I am struggling today to make Jonah stay in his bed for quiet-time/nap-time...but...perspective is: he's HERE, with me...in our home...and healthy as can be. Not in a hospital bed, being poked and prawded, fighting for his life.

Not to undermine the necessity of discipline, but...I need to keep my perspective healthy here, I guess...making the little things be little things...and not getting so worked up about things...while still somehow managing to be the one 'winning' the battles, not my 4 year old, calling the shots.

yikes. its not a job for the faint of heart. I look at Levi and his sweetness and how he isn't 'defying' me yet...and wonder how I could possibly get upset at this little babe.  But, I know its inevitable. And, I guess that's fine, too...its all part of the parenting gig I guess, isn't it?? Not all cuddles and cooes and snuggles and kisses all the time. But...thank goodness its there part of the time. Gives some redemption for disobedience....knowing these little people love us unconditionally, despite the behavior they have at times.

Parenthood is so hard to explain to someone who is not yet a parent. Me and Jay were such 'experts' on parenting....before we had kids. All the things we thought we'd 'never do' or be sure we would do...criticizing things we'd see in other families that we were certain would never happen in ours. WELL. That was naive and arrogant!!!

Anyways. Not really 'one of those days' here...just 'one of those moments'...and then I come downstairs in my fury...and turn on facebook....and its only a moment before I get a little perspective. So...I write about it. To remind me. Even though I know I'll forget again.

Levi

Well, Levi's blood tests were all fine, except his iron is a little low. Which obviously doesn't affect his weight, really. So -- my little boy is just little...no real reason other than that's just how God made him for now. This babe can EAT, oh my word...he is a very good little eater. The concoctions I give him when I feel like I have nothing 'delicious' to give him -- and he gobbles it all up like its a turkey freakin' dinner...bless his heart.  So -- I guess I will give him more of the iron-fortified cereals, as they have alot more iron in them than oatmeal (which he loves!!) and other iron-rich foods...and his blood will be re-tested in 8 weeks, but for now...he's just fine.

And still nursing morning and night. Weird how he just changed so quickly with his nursing. But he's sleeping really good during the night - sometimes still waking in the early early morning, but usually going back to sleep until 9:00am if he's up for a feeding before 6:30am...naps really well - morning and afternoon nap - usually 2-3 hours each. Except the last couple days his afternoon nap isn't as long. anyways. he's a great babe. very happy. and VERY busy. always on the move, this kid!! He's walking around things now -- just the last couple days. but has been pulling himself up to stand for quite awhile now. he's really the sweetest thing.

anyways...that's all for now.

Battle of the Boob (this is not really blog-worthy, so much as journal-worthy, but...i'm too lazy to get my journal...so...blog it is!)

Soooo....my baby is 9 months old. and 16 pounds. He's not even on the growth chart for weight...he was in the 50th percentile when he was born (8.6 pounds when he was born), but has gradually been on a 'decline'...never a really long nurser, but once he got the hang of eating solids...he became a really good eater...grunting and upset if we didn't feed him as fast as he wanted...he can EAT, this kid...

annnnyways. My doctor wanted me to do some blood tests to rule out any trouble with his thyroid, diabetes, blood sugar type stuff....and wanted me to try to increase his calories with more food and introducing him to whole milk. He's only been breast-fed, and never been interested in taking a bottle, so I wasn't too sure how he'd like milk, but...I gave him a sippy cup the next day and...he loved it!! This sippy cup was the kind you bite to squeeze the milk out - a soft tip...annnyways....

He stopped nursing.

And I was not prepared at all. I didn't even realize how much I was enjoying it -- in the beginning it seemed more like a nuisance, and every time he refused the bottle, and woke up multiple times in the night...I just wished there was someone else who could do m job!

But since Jonah nursed until almost 13 months old, I guess I just assumed Levi would too...

So...I tried a few times the next few days, without success. But, it was unsettling for me - 'cause it was like he wanted to, but he'd either go to bite me or just turn his head and cry and struggle...sooo so sad and hard.

But i accepted it. On the third day (Friday) - I didn't even attempt to nurse him - even though he was very upset going to bed - he didn't seem to want to nurse, so I let him cry. Which may be normal for some babies, but -- he usually would nurse before bed (every other time he'd nurse after he woke up), and then he'd be ready for bed before I even walked out of his tiny little bedroom.

So, i thought he was done. Very sporatic nursing for 3 days, I figured it was done.

But Saturday morning he woke up around 4:30 -- I had no idea what to do to settle him back down...I decided to try him with a bottle, because every other time he'd ever woken up in the night, I would nurse him...i wasn't sure a sippy cup would do the trick. so I got a bottle of milk and attempted to settle him with the bottle instead...

And he was not having it!!

Yikes...I figured there would be no milk left in my boob, but decided to 'present' it to him just the same...and it was exactly what he wanted - and what settled him back to sleep until 9:00. I just soaked up and enjoyed every minute, not knowing if it would be the last time or not.

Well -- that was on Saturday - it is  Monday night now...and I've been nursing him morning and night since then. Which is great with me! I'm so happy to do it, for as long as he is willing. (within reason!!) he's still taking the bottle too, but has seemed to figured out what he wants and not to be confused or upset now with boob, or bottle. I'll stick with the bottle a little longer instead of the sippy cup. Totally different than how things were with jonah -- he mastered the sippy cup so quickly - but i'm not taking my chances with levi right now because i really do want him to nurse a little longer.

So, my theory is the exposure to the whole milk and sippy cup that changed things. But he is also cutting his two top teeth...could have something to do with him wanting to bite me...whatever the case...it is a little nerve-wracking sticking this sensitive part of my body into a little mouth full of teeth! yikes.

anyways. very boring post for any readers, but...I wanted to record this.

I get the blood results from his test tomorrow hopefully - and if everything is fine...I will stop worrying about his 'slight-ness' and rest assured this tiny little fella is just fine.

my word, i love this baby.

 

 

 

Significance...

Just been thinking about some 'stuff' lately...here's a little glimpse into this head of mine:

My whole life, I was a pastor's daughter...I was a "Bredin", which...in my circles...actually meant something. At Bible school, having the last name Bredin, carried some significance as well, because one of the founders was my grandfather...people would tease me to 'play the Bredin card' if I wanted special privileges or recognition (which never worked, by the way!!...quite the opposite, if anything...the teachers may have been a little harder on me, truth be known, because of my last name, and who they thought I should be because of the family I belonged to.) At my church, I always had that sense of belonging because my Dad was the 'leader' of the church -- they HAD to love me, didn't they?? (I know better now!!)  And going to Awana camp, where I was the little sister of one of the popular high-school campers, meant people kinda liked me, too, because of my relation to who she was...

Being a 'middle child' (there are 5 of us kids -- I am the second oldest, the middle daughter - and technically, I share the title "middle child" with 2 other siblings)...but, I learned to 'make a name for myself' outside of who my older sister was...and I made friends quite easily and early on, remember my friendships being of most importance to me -- I never really was 'the smart one' or 'the athletic one' or 'the funny one'...certainly not 'driven' where school or entrepreunership was concerned...but I always had a multitude of friends...My 'drive' was to have good friendships. And I always have. I count that a huge blessing - one of my greatest blessings, in fact. 

It was never really a struggle for me to have good friendships, aside from the odd junior-high kerfuffel (how on earth do you spell that word???)...and maybe some tensions in Bible school, just broadening the scope that much more from a tiny Christian high school...(not that Bible school was huge, but...much bigger than my high-school and graduating class of 8!!)

After Bible school graduation, and NOT going right into ministry or marriage...I didn't know WHAT to do, and for maybe the first time...felt SUCH a lack of significance, especially being one of the few to not be headed in either direction of marriage or ministry upon graduating...I came back home, but most of my friends were either gone and 'doing' ministry, or home and being educated...becoming 'secular successes' (how terrible!). And I was neither, and at a complete loss as to what to do. I had imagined graduating NBBI at 21 years old, and marrying a pastor and becoming a Mom, like I had dreamed of since being a little girl...and when neither looked like a possibility...I felt like a failure. I filled life up with a little bit of 'ministry', some short-term missions trips, and less-than-satisfying jobs, and eventually decided to go to CompuCollege and learn about computers and accounting...

I made friends at CompuCollege, for the first time not already first being associated with anyone...my first time 'on my own.' I had to 'make a name for myself' simply by being me.  So nerve-wracking and satisfying all at the same time. Life prior hadn't been difficult by way of friendships, but this was my first time really venturing out on my own...

Right after graduating, I got a job...a 'temp job' (i.e...horrible pay!!) but my boss loved me!!! I only worked there a few months and found it quite dis-satisfying and un-fulfilling, and gave it up to go work at Camp Joy in New York...to be Jason's "personal assistant." (his first time having a 'personal assistant'...he convinced the Board to hire ME!!! ulterior motives???? yeah, I think so!!) Anyways, again - I made friends quickly and easily, but there was a bit of tension being the 'new girl' and having that attachment to the infamous 'Uncle Jason' and heaven forbid, I might take away from any relationships with other girls or kids or anyone who might find me to be 'intruding' and taking up too much of Jason's attention, and causing some changes in how things 'used to be.'

Well -- we fell in love, and a year later got married and 'did ministry' together (ahhhh - finally...'doing ministry'...I could finally feel some sense of significance!) But starting life in a new place, new job, new church, new people, new COUNTRY!!....it wasn't easy. First time I did not have a huge group of friends to call my own. Summer staff was one thing - and I loved them! - but they didn't stick around. We tried to connect with a large and 'cool' college-age group from our church, but...we were just old enough, just 'married' enough, and just busy enough with 'rescuing' these kids from the Bronx, to have time to really spend investing in them...so, for the 2 years I lived in New York -- really, truly, honestly...I had about 3 friends. Scott, Heather, and Tim.

And THEN...2 years after living in New York, we moved back home to PEI -- but in a lot of ways 'started over', after a really...ummm...crappy ending to Dad's ministry at our church of 14 years. Still some friends, but started a new church. Which is not easy. A few connections, but really mostly felt like it was a new start for us. Which has been good, really -- we've been there for over 7 years now. But in a lot of ways I still feel 'new' -- alot of people come and go, and alot of the people I have known for 7 years now...I don't really feel like I know.  And some of these people I have spent a lot of time with, actually. But -- I don't know that I really 'let my guard down' easily, to be fair. We talk, we do 'play dates' - we chit-chat after church (when I'm not chasing my 4 year old around or appeasing my 9 month old, that is!)...but we don't really share our hearts...and...I wonder sometimes why.

And I started going to a new Bible study on Tuesday mornings at a church in town a few weeks ago.  There are alot of different churches represented there - probaby bout 60 women in this group - and we've been broken up into smaller groups of about 10-12 people...and I don't know anyone in my small group...so, in the discussion and study (Becoming Women of Purpose), I've talked some - but think about what I say and how it might be perceived, seeing as these women don't know a thing about me...it changes how you speak and how much/how little you share of your life a little...they don't have any background information on me, nor I them...we are just coming as we are...which is something I am getting used to, but...still find myself wanting to make some sort of connection. Its an Island thing, to be honest.  Any introductions made, anywhere...people want to know your last name, where you came from, who you're related to...trying to make a connection...any connection...And seeing as I'm not a true Islander (even though I certainly consider this home)...and I don't have an Island name...this has always been a bit of a stretch for me...I have to first let them know I am, indeed...'from away.'  Not significant.

So...its just weird. Just makes me realize who I AM...is who I need to be...not because of who I'm related to, where I work, how smart or successful I am, where I live...whether or not my beliefts are legitimate because of where I go to church, what version of the Bible I read...

It makes me feel vulnerable...I want to be liked...I want people to care about me, to respect me, to value me and listen to me...and that's hard to find - I'm not a demanding person - I'm easily disappointed because I set my expectations so high in my relationships...and because I have some friendships that are so deep and so true...the bar is already set high and I'm not sure I give some people enough chance to 'compare'...it takes so long. And it requires so much effort - so much mutual effort...its not easy.

And I don't know exactly how to invest in new people...I find myself feeling insecure and thinking probably everyone else already has 'enough' people in their lives, they don't have room to squeeze me in.  So I sometimes hold back...I remain content with who I already have in my life because its easier...the risk isn't as great...the possibility of rejection isn't there - the foundation has already been laid...and the history -- ohhhh, the history. I love love love old friends. I love family...I love so many of the beautiful relationships I have in my life, I don't always want to open up myself to new ones. But...yet, I do still want to, at the same time. Its likely a defense mechanism. I want to feel safe and significant and secure. But, how do I get there?? Who could expect to be instantly loved and cared for?

So...I need to just BE who I am...not pretending to be anything more...and not holding back...that's so hard for me. I love hearing other people's stories and digging deeper into their lives.  But...sharing my story and my heart isn't as easy for me...not so much because I am 'private', as I don't know how much I believe other people generally CARE...soooo....my challenge to myself is to be sure I am loving and caring for others the way I want to be cared for...paying attention and really listening to other people...and being willing to open up and share my heart when I'm asked. Not trying to make myself appear any more 'significant' or cool or spiritual or funny or sweet or anything...other than just who I really am.

I do, actually, believe...I am enough. I am loved. I am cared for...I am significant in at least, the lives, of a few...and I am blessed. I don't need the applause of everyone...but I do want to love and be loved...and there's always a bit of risk involved when opening your life for another to step in.  Worth it, though.

Absolutely.

just a few things

I READ blogs more than I WRITE these days, but...still -- aren't there things you wish you knew about the person that sometimes they don't write about? things you think you might not care about, but...if you read them they might give a little more insight into who they really are??

And for me...I occassionally look back at my blog and wonder what I DID on certain days that I wrote...

And since this is MY  blog...and there are things I've done/thought about, etc TODAY....and lately...well -- why not WRITE it down?

For example: I had some yummy appetizers yesterday afternoon at East Side Mario's - and had some delish coffee -- which we asked what it was...and lo and behold: it was Nabob. So - I will likely be buying Nabob coffee tomorrow when I pick up my groceries. I am easily influenced. I felt a little guilty for going out to eat (even though my dear friend surprised me and PAID!) and I came back at supper-time...but at that point felt too lazy to cook...so i decided to pick Jonah and Jason up a sub from Subway on the way home...$6 bucks and some change -- not bad. And - I walk into the kitchen...and Jason is finishing up cooking Chicken Curry. Bless his heart. Which we put in dishes, ready to just be microwaved for supper TONIGHT. Holla back for an afternoon I don't have to think about making supper!!! Wooohooo!!!!!!!!!! And holla back for a husband who decided to make supper instead of waiting for me to do it after an afternoon out. Awesome.

I made delicious looking muffins this morning 'cause my friend Amanda and her two boys, Liam and Callum, were coming over - and seeing as I have absolutely no snacky-type foods, and little boys like to eat (and Mama's!) - I decided to have them timed perfectly to come out of the oven upon arrival. (like - literally!! - the timer was going off as she walked into my house!!) - and...I knew right away I had forgotten to put baking powder in them. Lame. Jonah and Liam seemed to think they were fine. For the first 2 bites anyways. So...12 muffins - 4 bites...in the garbage. Not cool.

Which, I suppose was just the beginning of an ill-timed playdate for 2 stubborn and vivacious little boys, who...when they're good...they're good, and when they're not...well -- it ended with a kick from Jonah and a bite from Liam, and a very emotional good-bye. (Jonah crying and saying "He chewed me...he CHEWED me!!! that is NOT what you do to your friends Liam. I am soooo angry." etc, etc...my boy is very vocal. and very good at communicating his emotions. which is usually good, but sometimes embarassing.) ugh. mothering. is not for the faint of heart. oh my soul.

Erin just left after we made some delish pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Yum! and pumpkin coffee to go along with them...very nice way to celebrate the first day of October. I can hardly believe its October!

After a 45 minute battle with BOTH Jonah and Levi...Jonah had a nice long nap (even with the wailings of his baby brother less than 3 feet away from his darling face!)...and is a MUCH happier kid. He's almost 4 and a half -- but still seems to need a nap. I just hate the struggle to get him to say in bed. And my 9 month old is napping too, finally....he's normally a very good sleeper, but yesterday and today his afternoon nap has been a struggle...so today I rescued him after 45 minutes - and he was HAPPY AS A CLAM!!!! until an hour later when he fell and hit his head...then he realized how tired he was and went down without a fight. geesh. if these boys would just do what I wanted them to from the get-go, it would save so much time and trouble.

Ha!

Ummmm...let's see. What other going-on's can I write about???

I'm back to work...I went back a couple weeks ago now I guess. Just Tuesday evenings for 3-4 hours, and Thursday mornings for 4 hours. Not much, in the eyes of a 'working person', but...just enough for this Mama, who would still much rather be HOME, even if these boysies drive me crazy sometimes. So - I'm doing book-keeping at the APM Centre, just a mile up the road - our local hockey rink/gym/community centre. Its fine. Not my dream job, but...a job. A chance to make a tiny bit of money, and give me opportunity to miss my boys. Which I do. And its nice for them to have part of an evening with just Daddy - and an entire morning with just Mammie (my Mom). A win-win for now.

Levi is pulling himself up and STANDING all the time now. And crawling everywhere...and just such a busy little boy, playing and getting into everything. I forgot about this stage!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! He's super - SUPER - cute, though. Like, we actually cannot believe how cute this kid is...he melts our hearts every single day with his teeny tiny little body and face that - when it breaks into a smile -- takes up his entire face - and is perhaps the cutest little thing ya ever saw.

I mean, seriously.

Jason just walked in the door, and I'm going to "publish" this now.