Parties, friends, and other happy stuff

It depends on WHO is at a party, whether or not I'm having a good time...whether or not I'm 'myself', whether I'm quiet or loud or fun, or bored, or insecure...and I'm sure I'm not alone...some people love a crowd, love to be the center of attention, the life of the party...I would say, as a rule, that is NOT really my thing...but...I LOVE to be with people who I enjoy, crowd or not, especially when everyone is just chatting and having a good time, and no-one is making anyone feel excluded or stupid, and...I will say, when there's lots of yummy food -- and its a POTLUCK -- I'm probably enjoying myself even MORE...and playing games like "I Have Never", and you're actually learning things and getting to know people better as opposed to useless small talk all evening long...well -- that' why lastnight, when we were at a party, with a whole mish-mash of people, we were the LAST to leave, as opposed to the first...we had a GREAT time, seeing old friends, meeting new ones, and just having a genuinely good time...I love that. I love enjoying myself and feeling like I can BE myself, and just having fun. I sometimes miss having a whole crowd of people around me, all people I love and feel close to, but...life changes a bit when you get married and even more when you have a kid...I still sometimes long for those 'old days' when life is all about friends and having fun...but, having little bits and pieces of that every now and again, along with having a happy home and marriage...really is more than I could ask for. I had a great weekend. And its not even over. I got to hang out with 3 lovely ladies on Friday night - eat some yummy food (why do i talk about food all the time, anyways?!) - and am just feeling blessed and happy to have people in my life who I love, who I know love me. I think I had myself convinced at times in my life that absolutely EVERYONE loved me...and as I get older, I realize that is definetely not the case...and certainly not necessary, either, as i sometimes beat myself up for when i am fully aware that is NOT the case...but then I'm reminded of the people I DO have, and how very very blessed I really am...I have so much love in my life...and i am just so grateful. And, though my hubby does NOT read my blog, I will say a special little shout out to him, too, 'cause he really is the PERFECT guy for me...never makes me feel judged or like I have to be anyone other than who I really am...and he loves me so much...that's an amazing thing, to have someone see your complete vulnerability and love you all the more because of it. I'm feeling blessed today. And I get to hang out with my siblings (and my baby brother's girlfriend, too) tonight...and I spent the afternoon with my sister, and she bought me socks and earrings...2 of my favorite things to purchase! - and...I just feel happy. A good time to blog. And the sun is shining. and its the first day of SPRING!!! oh - and I cut bangs. on a whim yesterday. but - I actually like them. and my cow-lick...is co-operating, so...i'm happy about that too.