my weekend with people I love

I don't 'work for the weekend' anymore, but...I still enjoy them: there's something 'refreshing' about feeling like there's a different pace and expectation, and you can do 'what you want'...which, as per a conversation this week with my oldest friend, I verbalized, and she agreed the same thing for her: we rarely 'allow' ourselves to just do what we want, and be 'in the moment' as we 'should' be. Its funny, realizing how I even formed that sentence, using the word 'should', because it is CERTAINLY a daily part of my life. When I'm cooking or cleaning, I feel like I 'should' be playing with Jonah; when I'm playing with Jonah, I feel like I 'should' be doing something more productive; when I'm relaxing, I feel like I 'shouldn't' be lazy, etc, etc....so, I wind up feeling all the time like I'm doing the wrong thing. Which is ridiculous. No-one makes me feel like that except for me. (and maybe the odd, judgmental person, who is taking out their lack-of-contentment-in-their-own-life...on me.) but, anyways, I digress.

This weekend...I tried to enjoy it, tried to stop all the analyzing (not an easy task for me), and just enjoy what was happening. And...I had a great weekend. Amidst a wicked headache yesterday, I got to finally see Handel's Messiah at our very own Confederation Centre of the Arts in Charlottetown, kindness of my friend, Colleen. (who doesn't know I blog.) and it was beautiful, moving, and lovely...and made me miss my choir days! And made me want to be a better musician, but...still: I enjoyed it. I enjoyed a cup of Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks before-hand, too -- and I honestly didn't think about the 5 bucks it cost me until: now. Haha. And I didn't feel 'torn' about being away from Jonah and Jason for the entirety of a Sunday afternoon...though I was very happy to see them when I got back!! We all had supper with Amanda and Silas on Saturday night...and had a ridiculous time watching our boys be silly and completely 'let their guard down' with each other - we laugh at the insanity of them, and are delighted we no longer 'make excuses' for them, and just let them be, knowing our love for our own, and for each other's boys....gets rid of the guilt and judgment. That's a beautiful thing. I didn't word it eloquently, because...its 8:00 in the morning, and I am literally typing as I think, and have no intention of going back and editing this post. But...I love when you have friends you can just totally be yourself with, and don't fear the judgment, or feel the need to 'explain' yourself or anything. As I get older, and especially these recent days, I am realizing more and more who my 'real' friends are: and...I am blessed. I don't often acknowledge that fact, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, or wishing things were 'like the old days', or missing friends 'from away', etc, etc...but...I have some of the greatest friends (and family!) I could ever dream up. And I'm so thankful. Its not to say I don't have some less-than-fantastic friends in my life, too...I acknowledge that as well, but...let's focus on the positive, right?!

Anyways. I had my staff party this weekend, too...which, was actually pretty fun!! And I got an increase of $20 on my bonus!! WOOHOO!! :) Always a nice thing around Christmas. I also won 2 of the 3 games, so got myself some prizes, too! I was seriously on FIRE!!! hahaha.

And lastnight, I hung out with Jason and Erin (my little sister), who is really, just part of our little family (I mean, she actually IS, but...I mean part of our little Paulino family)....she thinks she outstays her welcome here, but...we wouldn't have it any other way....we love her. And...we don't want her to move away. So...we're praying she finds a job here. So proud of her - you're gonna be the best teacher, Erin! Please find a job in PEI. We love you too much. So does Jonah.

Which brings me to another point. (wow, I have a lot to say for it being 8:00 in the morning.) I am thankful for people who love my boy. I mean, really LOVE my boy. What a special thing when you watch people who don't 'have to' love him, really LOVE him. Amanda, maybe I love you more and more as I watch you love him more and more. You're so good at loving us!! And, Erin...of course. Those two are best friends. And there are a couple of boys (in university!) at our church, who Jonah adooores!!! He prays for them and talks about them often through the week...and yesterday, we sat behind them in church...so of course, he was quite smitten...and ended up sitting beside Ben and on Ryan's lap for a good part of the service....I still find myself feeling like, "I hope they don't feel obligated to be nice to him", but....they're just soo great with him, and give him so much attention...I'm so thankful for that!

Oh, let's see....the wind is ROARING outside...and seriously, that's what woke me up early this morning....I couldn't fall back asleep, so I came downstairs and had coffee with Jason before he went to work...and I was all cozied up on my couch, and....thankful that I have my very own little home. I didn't think it would ever happen - and it may not be elaborate or huge or fancy, but...it ours, and...we love it. Especially at Christmas - its so cozy and homey....and I'm so happy to have my own little space to call my own.

And its now 8:15, and my boy is still sound asleep upstairs. Which is another reason to be thankful. Yesterday he woke up, crying, at 7:11 in the morning. He never wakes up crying, poor little fella. And he never wakes up that early, either....So - today...I am thankful I have a little boy who doesn't wake up early, and I have a bit of time to.....myself. To blog, and now...to shower. Its Monday, and...I think, despite the grey-ness and wind and dreariness outside: I think its gonna be a good day. Wow. Can I ramble...