little rascal

Its 2:34, and Jonah has been in bed almost an hour and a half, and he's STILL talking....what on earth?!?! I keep debating going up there and rocking him to sleep, or scolding him, but...do I dare?! Oh my word. Osmosis?!?! Go to sleep, Jonah, go to sleeeeeeeeeeepppp. What a little rascal. Seriously.

my weekend with people I love

I don't 'work for the weekend' anymore, but...I still enjoy them: there's something 'refreshing' about feeling like there's a different pace and expectation, and you can do 'what you want'...which, as per a conversation this week with my oldest friend, I verbalized, and she agreed the same thing for her: we rarely 'allow' ourselves to just do what we want, and be 'in the moment' as we 'should' be. Its funny, realizing how I even formed that sentence, using the word 'should', because it is CERTAINLY a daily part of my life. When I'm cooking or cleaning, I feel like I 'should' be playing with Jonah; when I'm playing with Jonah, I feel like I 'should' be doing something more productive; when I'm relaxing, I feel like I 'shouldn't' be lazy, etc, etc....so, I wind up feeling all the time like I'm doing the wrong thing. Which is ridiculous. No-one makes me feel like that except for me. (and maybe the odd, judgmental person, who is taking out their lack-of-contentment-in-their-own-life...on me.) but, anyways, I digress.

This weekend...I tried to enjoy it, tried to stop all the analyzing (not an easy task for me), and just enjoy what was happening. And...I had a great weekend. Amidst a wicked headache yesterday, I got to finally see Handel's Messiah at our very own Confederation Centre of the Arts in Charlottetown, kindness of my friend, Colleen. (who doesn't know I blog.) and it was beautiful, moving, and lovely...and made me miss my choir days! And made me want to be a better musician, but...still: I enjoyed it. I enjoyed a cup of Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks before-hand, too -- and I honestly didn't think about the 5 bucks it cost me until: now. Haha. And I didn't feel 'torn' about being away from Jonah and Jason for the entirety of a Sunday afternoon...though I was very happy to see them when I got back!! We all had supper with Amanda and Silas on Saturday night...and had a ridiculous time watching our boys be silly and completely 'let their guard down' with each other - we laugh at the insanity of them, and are delighted we no longer 'make excuses' for them, and just let them be, knowing our love for our own, and for each other's boys....gets rid of the guilt and judgment. That's a beautiful thing. I didn't word it eloquently, because...its 8:00 in the morning, and I am literally typing as I think, and have no intention of going back and editing this post. But...I love when you have friends you can just totally be yourself with, and don't fear the judgment, or feel the need to 'explain' yourself or anything. As I get older, and especially these recent days, I am realizing more and more who my 'real' friends are: and...I am blessed. I don't often acknowledge that fact, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, or wishing things were 'like the old days', or missing friends 'from away', etc, etc...but...I have some of the greatest friends (and family!) I could ever dream up. And I'm so thankful. Its not to say I don't have some less-than-fantastic friends in my life, too...I acknowledge that as well, but...let's focus on the positive, right?!

Anyways. I had my staff party this weekend, too...which, was actually pretty fun!! And I got an increase of $20 on my bonus!! WOOHOO!! :) Always a nice thing around Christmas. I also won 2 of the 3 games, so got myself some prizes, too! I was seriously on FIRE!!! hahaha.

And lastnight, I hung out with Jason and Erin (my little sister), who is really, just part of our little family (I mean, she actually IS, but...I mean part of our little Paulino family)....she thinks she outstays her welcome here, but...we wouldn't have it any other way....we love her. And...we don't want her to move away. So...we're praying she finds a job here. So proud of her - you're gonna be the best teacher, Erin! Please find a job in PEI. We love you too much. So does Jonah.

Which brings me to another point. (wow, I have a lot to say for it being 8:00 in the morning.) I am thankful for people who love my boy. I mean, really LOVE my boy. What a special thing when you watch people who don't 'have to' love him, really LOVE him. Amanda, maybe I love you more and more as I watch you love him more and more. You're so good at loving us!! And, Erin...of course. Those two are best friends. And there are a couple of boys (in university!) at our church, who Jonah adooores!!! He prays for them and talks about them often through the week...and yesterday, we sat behind them in church...so of course, he was quite smitten...and ended up sitting beside Ben and on Ryan's lap for a good part of the service....I still find myself feeling like, "I hope they don't feel obligated to be nice to him", but....they're just soo great with him, and give him so much attention...I'm so thankful for that!

Oh, let's see....the wind is ROARING outside...and seriously, that's what woke me up early this morning....I couldn't fall back asleep, so I came downstairs and had coffee with Jason before he went to work...and I was all cozied up on my couch, and....thankful that I have my very own little home. I didn't think it would ever happen - and it may not be elaborate or huge or fancy, but...it ours, and...we love it. Especially at Christmas - its so cozy and homey....and I'm so happy to have my own little space to call my own.

And its now 8:15, and my boy is still sound asleep upstairs. Which is another reason to be thankful. Yesterday he woke up, crying, at 7:11 in the morning. He never wakes up crying, poor little fella. And he never wakes up that early, either....So - today...I am thankful I have a little boy who doesn't wake up early, and I have a bit of time to.....myself. To blog, and now...to shower. Its Monday, and...I think, despite the grey-ness and wind and dreariness outside: I think its gonna be a good day. Wow. Can I ramble...

Christmas is coming!

So...I'm sooo so excited for Christmas -- and I have to say...it really started on Thanksgiving. Like, that is the day when it really starts to feel like Christmas. Partly 'cause we're eating all the foods we normally eat on Christmas Day - partly because we FINALLY see Santa Claus at the end of the Macy's parade! - and...we put up our Christmas decorations on that day. I'm so excited!! And...Christmas really is so much fun with a kid -- Jonah probably doesn't completely understand it all, but - He's sooo excited!! We've stopped telling him what's happening the next day, 'cause he gets too excited and can't get to sleep - no joke! He's 2 and a half - are you kidding me?! Oh my word. He was so excited to put up the decorations - had little bits of garland ALL over the house, from running around with it! And...we just saw Santa AGAIN at our own little Santa Claus Parade in Charlottetown. I have no beefs with Santa. I kinda like him, actually. He seems so magical to me, even though I don't (really) believe he's real.

And with the Christmas season, brings...Christmas parties, and allll kinds of yummy food!! And...grocery bills that I really can't afford, but...have decided I'm going to buy anyways, because...its my joy. I love having people over, I love having yummy food to share with people, and...I will TRY to not spend so much time fretting over money. It sucks the joy out of it for me. Don't worry, I will not go into tooo much more debt over this Christmas, but...I will be thankful for the resources (credit cards) I have, and....use it wisely, and...lovingly.

And...don't tell Jonah, but...I found some Chuggington trains for him for Christmas! At Zellers (the Canadian version of Target), so...I'm so happy about that - He's going to be thrilled!! He ADORES trains, and....ADORES Chuggington -- so...the combination will hopefully be perfect!! Though Erin and I agree: he will be as interested in the packaging that shows all the characters on it, as he will be in the trains themselves! Hahaha.

I'm (still!!) analyzing my friendships and relationships and learning who my true friends are, and who I should be really 'investing' my time in. But - I continue to be reminded that I should treat EVERYONE with love and respect, even if they aren't really my 'truest' and dearest FRIENDS. Its difficult. Because I can be a person who gives alot and cares alot about people who...don't often seem to return the favour, and...sometimes take advantage of the people who love me the most...who really: I also love the most. And...I don't want to be a person who does that. I want to be the best wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc...that I can be. And still be kind and loving to others, but...be aware of who my real friends are. I'm learning that...very slowly, but...I'm grateful for the dear friends, and family I have...I am continually learning how blessed I really am.

Just some ramblings. I have so much to say, and...never the time to say it all. I have some supper to prepare.

First SNOW!!!

We are currently having our first 'real' snowfall -- and I am listening to Christmas music, and not one bit ashamed. We usually (and by "WE", I mean JASON!) try to wait until American Thanksgiving, which is also when we decorate, but -- I am LOVING listening to it right now, and seeing all that pretty snow falling down...while I am tucked into my cozy little home. Not leaving unless I have to for the rest of the day....unless Jonah wants to play outside, which...will not be happening unless he wakes up from his nap VERY soon, 'cause its almost dark already. Erin and I went to a craft fair this morning, so even before the snow began, I was already feeling more Christmasy after being at the craft fair, which is a tradition for us...except this year, Mom is away, so couldn't go with us, but....anyways...I'm just happy and festive feeling right now....so, I'm signing off, and going to heat up some apple cider and turn on A Very Monkey Christmas (Curious George), 'cause I know that's what Jonah's gonna be asking for when he comes down from his nap. Merry Christmas.

Honestly.

its a good thing my battery life on my laptop isn't what it used to be...or I'd be wasting even MORE time on here than I already do. I am quite disciplined to not be on it much when Jonah's awake, but...when he's sleeping...i don't know what comes over me. like i don't want to miss a thing, like - maybe someone else has a more interesting life than I do...like, maybe I'll get some inspirationg for a new meal, a new decorating style, a new band to listen to...why do I glean such inspiration from this electronic device? and why do I fight it, at the same time? on one hand, i want to change with the times, and be up on the 'latest' and 'greatest', and on the other hand...its just not gonna happen, and most of me wants to fight it, anyways, but...alas: this thing called the internet vyes for my affections. and often wins. well...i've sucked the life out of it for now, and would rather be sitting on my comfy couch than at the *desk* (which is really a china cabinet) in the cold and un-cozy dining room all by myself. so...goodnight, 'world'. whoever you are. i still haven't broad-casted to the world that I even write this, so...i feel like I'm saying goodnight to myself. which would be silly, 'cause....I'm not going to bed. I'm going from one electronic device to another: watching What Would You Do (not to be confused with our Christian lingo "What Would Jesus Do") on the telly...which, honestly. I love.

date night

I've talked to different friends who say they crave a date night - a night without the kiddies...I wouldn't say I neccessarily feel that same craving, but...maybe its because we only have one, and we still crave time with him, we don't often see the need to 'go out', since every night that we're home together, we're...together -- Jonah's in bed, and we have several hours to do whatever we want. I have a neat home, so...once Jonah's in bed...I don't feel the need to 'do more' or get things done that I don't get to during the day...its 8:00 at night, and...I'm doing what I want...which is usually watching TV...or surfing the 'net. Well -- tonight...its Saturday night -- and I'm going on a date with my hubby!!! And - quite looking forward to it, actually -- feels like its been awhile since just the two of us have gone out, so I'm happy we get to do this tonight! We will be eating...something. Somewhere. Not sure of the fine details, but...I'm sure we'll figure it out!!

And its such a beautiful beautiful day out there...as soon as this baby boy wakes up from his nap, I think we'll head outside again and enjoy the sunshine while we can! The days are shorter now, and...up until yesterday, it had been a week or more since that sun was bursting through the clouds, and the rain has finally stopped, so...I'm enjoying the sun while I can!

And I hear that baby boy upstairs now, so...must sign off...

weekends

There's something about weekends - even when Jason's at work, it still feels like a day when you can just do what you want. Especially if its raining. Even though Jonah is upstairs calling "Mommy? Mama?" when he should be napping. And my friend's boy, Silas is sitting on the couch with me, watching Scooby Doo, and there's toys all over the the living room floor. It just feels...relaxing. And I love it - I love being home. Even though there's an idiot mouse somewhere within these 4 walls - how do I know?! We killed one yesterday - of course, hoping it was the ONLY mouse living in our house. Well - this morning, I was helping Jonah use his potty, and discovered: the mouse pooped in the potty first! At least he's a polite little rodent, pooping in the potty. Idiot. I hate mice. With. a. passion. No joke. But- anyways. That's fine - Jason's buying those plug-in mice thingies that supposedly keep them away...let's hope they work.

And tonight, we're just staying home, watching a show...and just being home. That's my favorite. We have so many nights out now, it seems. Which is fine, but -- I'm quite excited to just be home on a rainy Saturday night with my hubby.