I've been reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love"...and I am loving it. If I can allow the truths spoken in his book to really speak to my heart...I feel my life would dramatically change....I'm hoping I will allow HIS truth to change me...slowly or quickly...I want my life to truly, truly be...all about Him.
So...there's been major struggles in my heart over the last number of months, especially...mostly where church is concerned -- relationships, focus, the heartbeat of our church...and how all this 'stuff' is causing me so much anxiety - so much worry and stress...I actually think I could be getting an ulcer.
And I read this morning:
"I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind. I'm a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously.
Right?
But then there's that perplexing command: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:4). You'll notice that it doesn't end with "...unless you're doing something extremely important." No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything" (v.6)
That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering.
When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my fammily, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. in other words, that I have a 'right' to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.
Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance."
So. I am surrenduring this worry and stress to Him...nothing is worth robbing me of my joy in Him...in trusting Him, and remembering He is in control.
Please, when you think of me -- pray for me -- for our church...that we would truly turn our eyes to Him...surrender to Him.
2 comments:
We did this with our teens...a bunch of studies from that book. It's great. Thanks for sharing!
I love your thoughts. You really are discerning Kris, and your heart is so sensitive to doing what God wants you to do. I hope that through all of this 'stuff' that you guys are going through (as a church and personally), you will see how important and needed your input and heart are for others to hear. I've been so proud of you for being as vocal as you have been, as i know it's not easy for you. But, you have alot of wisdom, and alot that others can learn from. So proud of you. Xoxoxo (oh, and on a completely random note, I blogged today.:). Nothing too exciting, but i did it). Love u.
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