vague-ness

I think I will acknowledge (to myself) that vague-ness typically drives me crazy. when people say something in a status on facebook, for example, that sounds very personal, and insinuates that people will know what he/she is talking about, when in reality, they are fishing for comments...or people sound like they're really 'letting you in', but are not giving enough details to make you feel like you're actually sure of what's going on, but not giving you opportunity to ask...or just never getting quite 'deep enough' in a relationship, even though conversations and time spent together is frequent. i have a very high expectation for my relationships, i think. i have experienced true and meaningful friendship, and surface relationships just don't cut it for me. i feel like i'm always analyzing my relationships, trying to figure out who is worth my time. not in a mean way, but...with a husband who works shift work, and a busy toddler, and 2 nights out a week with church things...i want to be spending what time i DO spend with people, to be people that are worth my time. i am a person who is typically genuinely interested in other people's lives. when i ask questions, i actually want to know the answers. when you pour out your heart to me, i love that...because it is the deepening of a relationship. however...i am not always good at being the one to 'pour out'. and its not because i don't have anything to say. its because not everyone asks - and when they do, i find myself gauging how much time i have to answer, and how interested they really are, because often i can be interrupted by listening, once again, to what the other person has to say. it can be my own fault. i know this about myself. i have a few people in my life, who are good to ask me questions, and loving enough to wait for the answers and dig a little deeper into my life. i have so much to say. i have so much on my heart...be prepared to get an earful if you ever ask and actually give me the time to share my heart.

that sounded like a rant. its not really. just a little explanation about me. which is why i'm not a good blogger - i don't know my 'audience' - and i fear what people will think, or if they will think i'm not being authentic...or that i'm painting my life to look a certain way...people generally write about the good things...i'm not good at sharing the 'bad things', anyways...but it doesn't mean i don't have difficult things in my life i am dealing with. so - for now...i'll keep it a little 'vague'. afterall, its my blog. and as far as i know, i'm the only one who knows about it.