A Mama of Two...

I am not feeling especially 'nostalgic' or inspired to write, but...My little baby is 2 weeks old today, so...I figure it is most definetely TIME for me to finally write about him. He's sound asleep beside me, my little Levi. And my little - well, my BIG! - boy, Jonah, is sound asleep in his little room upstairs. I am sitting with the computer on my lap for what seems like the first time in weeks...and who knows how long I will have to write until the sleeping babe beside me wakes, and decides he would like to be nursed. Again.

We had the craziest Christmas EVER this year. It was celebrated for a long time, as it always is...decorations put up on American Thanksgiving - as much baking and candy-ing and celebrating as possible, with an almost 9-month preggo body...and it still seems like it was here and gone in a flash. Jonah asks every day if Christmas is over.

The weeks leading up to Christmas, I begged God to get this baby out of me and home in time to celebrate Christmas. Then the days before Christmas, when I knew it wouldn't be possible to get home FOR Christmas, I started begging Him to keep the baby in until at least Christmas morning was over, so we could have our time with Jonah, opening his presents.

God gave me just that. We had a special morning at home, just the 3 of us...it already seems like a life-time ago, in ways. My siblings came down while Mom and Dad went to church (they are the spiritual ones, for sure!), then close to noon, we all headed up to my parents for some more present-opening, the reading of the Christmas story, and preparations for the meal. JUST before we all sat down to eat, I was faced with the reality that all the 'tightenings' I was having...were 'real'...contractions. I knew this baby was coming.

Jonah was just starting to have a melt-down, as his Papa was calling everyone to the table (for a man who likes to eat at 12:00 sharp and 5:00 sharp, 1:00-1:30 was really pushing the limits!) -- Jonah wanted to play, and NOT eat...so, we were trying to deal with him, which is difficult to do descretely, in a house full of people who are so hungry...

Anyways, I finally got him calmed down, and we cuddled on the bed a few minutes, singing some songs, and then I knew I had to go. I scarved down a few bites of turkey dinner, and we headed in to the hospital.

Unbelievable pain, contractions were about 2 minutes apart, I was SURE when they checked me they'd be able to see the baby's head! Nope: only 1 centimetre dilated. NOT COOL. I was ready to have a c-section right there.

Anyways. I feel quite certain the 'details' of this baby's arrival will not be forgotten, as so many of the details of Jonah's birth were...I was unfortunately NOT as 'out of it' as I was with jonah...very VERY verbal the entirety of this labour...my poor husband, bless his soul...no cursing. But MUCH wailing, screaming, crying, and yelling "I cannot do this. Get this baby OUT OF ME!! I cannot DO THIS!!!"...for hours. But - God answered the prayer I had prayed for months...and I pushed this baby out.

And here I am two weeks later, still healing...and trying to decide if I am to have another baby, which is the more traumatic way to go: c-section or vaginal...I've done both, and I have to say BOTH are pretty traumatic.

Anyways. I have a perfect little baby boy. Well -- not quite perfect: he hasn't mastered the whole sleeping during the NIGHT thing, though he's quite good at the sleeping during the DAY thing. But, he doesn't cry much - he's a great nurser, and seems very content. And Jonah ADORES him....he seriously gives this baby kisses and hugs all day long. I'm quite pleased about that. He's making the adjustment better than I am.

Its an adjustment. I forgot what its like to have a newborn. I know life will mellow out a little soon, and once my body feels better, i think that will be half the battle. But...I'm not gonna lie: I kinda miss my 'prior' life a littel at times. Knowing that once 7:45pm is here, and I walk down those stairs...the night is MINE. Not the case anymore. But...I'm adjusting. I'm getting there. And, I am trying to be patient with myself, knowing I can't do everything like normal quite yet.

I've been overwhelmed with all the meals people have made and the gifts we've been given...definetely feelin' the love. We are blessed, indeed.

So...because this baby is still asleep beside me, and I've already gone up once to wipe the nose of my other little boy...I'll try to relax and enjoy some time with my hubby before I tend to the needs of my newborn.

For now...this very long post will be my 'welcome to the world', Levi Wilson Paulino.

(he must have heard me: he's awake now.)