I like to think I'm an 'open' person, willing to share my heart and be vulnerable and authentic. But, I am really just learning to be that way...and far from being the type of person I want to be. Who isn't, though?! There is a part of me that is so deeply concerned with the needs of others, that I seem to forget how to reveal my own needs...and really - how is that being authentic?! I seem to present myself sometimes in a way that shows I am a happy, content person who doesn't really struggle with anything. soooo untrue. I may just not always have someone who is demanding my vulnerability and authenticity - and so, I can get away with pretending I'm 'fine'. I've owned up to some things in the past couple weeks, though. I've actually let some people 'in' (whether they wanted in or not!) - and I feel so much better for it. Actually admitting hurt, and actually talking to a handful of trusted friends about it...why don't I do that more?! They didn't seem one bit surprised by how I was feeling. I guess I'm not as deceiving as I thought. I am so grateful for the people in my life who let me be me, and love and accept me just the same.
Funny thing, though: my blog is still not public. For now, I kinda like it that way. I don't seem to mind a bit, delving into the minds of others through their blogs, but...I don't want someone seeing mine. just yet, anyways. that may be another lesson for another day. Today - this is my blog. For my eyes only. And perhaps those of the blog-spot owner's eyes. I'm sure they're thrilled.
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